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It took a few weeks until he revealed that he was renting a room at a "sailing buddy's" house, which is why he never invited me over.
After three months of dating but still not having met any of his friends or relatives, I started to see red flags.
We ordered bowls of clam chowder in a restaurant overlooking a boat harbor in Southern California, and that first date lasted three hours. After spending quite a bit of time together and some cuddling and kissing on a cold winter’s night, I blurted out my confession.
(MORE: Deeper Dating: A New Approach to Finding Love) About halfway through the meal, my insecurities kicked in big-time. ” Obviously these were not words I was planning to say out loud, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit this was something that was very much on my mind. “Sam, I really like you, but I am scared to death about making love with you.
Kumar quickly set my mind at ease, explaining that I was going through a normal (if disconcerting) situation.
At midlife, she said, “many women have to change their old identities and discover what their new one is. “I think that it’s wise for a woman to want to have somebody who is solvent.
Also, he has been applying for regular employment and was offered a job with benefits just last week.
All this makes me hopeful and optimistic that soon Sam will be picking up the tab for dinner.
A flurry of emails led to a lively — and encouraging — phone conversation, which led to plans to meet for lunch a few days after Thanksgiving.
(In fact, he spent half of December at my place, running up my utility bills while keeping his gas tank full.) When he starting doing his laundry without asking if I minded, I decided it was time to speak up about my true feelings.
While he continued to be every bit the gentleman, I made it very clear that I wanted more romance and that I needed to get to know him better by seeing more of what life was like, whatever it might be.
“You can do a commitment ceremony and not enmesh one another financially.
We have a lot of power, and we are not as afraid as when we were younger.” Understanding that what I’d been experiencing was a natural evolutionary state gave me a greater sense of control and reminded me that I have a lot of options.
“These changes are so multilayered and multifaceted.” She went on to explain that after menopause, many women experience vaginal dryness and atrophy, a thinning of the walls (due to lack of estrogen), which can make intercourse painful.