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A Singles’ Dating Convention member sent this to me: “I’ve recently joined a different singles’ site and am running into the same issue I’ve had with the previous ones I’ve been involved in.It seems that somehow my profile targets only those that are looking for money, or are spam. For example, the other night I got a message from a lady on Plenty Of and responded to her and then she quickly responded giving me her Yahoo screen name to IM her.Some people feel posting inaccurate photos of themselves is the only way to get dates because people judge so heavily by appearance. But are those dates resulting in the relationship you were looking for? Don’t skimp on your profile: I’m just going to say it — filling out your online dating profile is a pain in the ass, especially if you have to take a long quiz beforehand to determine your personality type.Despite this unfortunate reality, you really should set aside a good chunk of time to dedicate to filling out your online profile if you really want to find a compatible mate. How do you accurately describe yourself without coming off as arrogant or boring?Throughout it all, what became most apparent during the discussion is that men didn’t want a “don’t” list. What they really want is some advice on what I hesitated to even write this piece because what people like is far more subjective than what people don’t like. To that end, this is my list “to do’s” for people (yes, people, not just men) who are trying to find a long-term partner using an online dating site:1.
You Get What You Pay For It seems the “free” membership sites tend to be the ones most likely to have more fake profiles on them.
Unless the online dating site is going to go to the extra effort of meeting the single in person, doing a background check, and taking their online profile pictures for them (like Findthe It Factor.com, a personalized dating service), then “verified” means nothing more than the faker has access to a credit card.
There are services that can do background checks for you, if you feel the person is worth looking into further.
If a single you’ve contacted can’t answer basic questions, just gives you one or two-word answers, or gets angry that you’ve questioned if they’re legitimate or not, then move on.
I was excited to see some great conversation happening in the comments of my piece “The Top Three Mistakes Men Make in Online Dating.” Both men and women shared their experiences with online dating and debated over the mistakes and fixes I offered in the piece. How do you reconcile a trillion different preferences in order to offer men advice on what to do to be successful with online dating? All I can do is set some parameters and offer my advice based on my own experiences and hope that it helps at least a few guys out there.
It’s a numbers game and they have tons of fake profiles all over the Internet to be worrying about.